The following article is in no way intended to make fun of people who are overweight, but to make a statment about the society we live in.
No seriously…in North America people just aren’t big enough. Despite the alarming rate of obesity (especially among children), increasing incidence of type 2 diabetes, and heart disease being our number one killer, I think we’re just not making the cut.
If I’ve gotten you worried don’t fret my friends. There is hope. The folks at homefocuscatalog.com have provided us with a luxury item that will make it easier to get as big as humanly possible.
Behold the french fry holder that fits directly into your vehicle’s cup holder. Amazing! Can’t eat french fries without ketchup? No problem. The people at Home Focus Magazine are one step ahead. They’ve gone and built a clip on ketchup cup so you can enjoy your boiled fat potato sticks as they were meant to be eaten.
Now I know what you’re thinking. “How do you expect me to get fat on french fries alone? What will I do?” Don’t panic. For an additional fifteen bucks you can purchase a swivel tray for your other cup holder on which to put your hamburger.
Of course, now that you’re using both cup holders you’re going to need a beer hat to hold your soft drinks. If you expect to get fat don’t go ordering any diet soft drinks either.
As you begin to get bigger you may notice that you’re gaining too much weight to fit in your regular seatbelt. Don’t let that prevent you from getting your daily serving of fast food though. Simply purchase a seatbelt extender and you’ll be back on the road to fatness before you know it.
If some aspects of your home life become difficult you may even want to add a Big John toilet seat that is extra wide and rated to 1200lbs for added comfort.
With these tools you will eventually be big enough to meet my expectations. However, you might discover that once you reach this size people start to treat you differently. Fear not, this is usually jealousy since they have not yet been able to become as large as you. To bond with those who have achieved similar levels of greatness you can contact the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance HERE.
September 26th, 2006
It might surprise you to know that we are being increasingly surrounded by estrogen. To be exact, we are constantly being exposed to a plethora of man-made chemical compounds called xenoestrogens that mimic the effects of estrogen in our body.
What are Xenoestrogens?
The easiest way to describe the way estrogen works is to think of a lock and key. Estrogen (the key) fits into a receptor (the lock) and all of the effects associated with that hormone begin. Xenoestrogens fit into the same receptors to cause similar effects, but can also turn on other receptors making the effects more pronounced.
To be clear, xenoestrogens are not similar to the food estrogens (called phytoestrogens) found in foods like soy. While these estrogens are cleared by the body, xenoestrogens are stored in adipose (fat) tissue.
Where did Xenoestrogens come from?
One of the most well known xenoestrogens came in the form of a pesticide called DDT. While it was very successful at eliminating malaria carrying mosquito populations it was later banned due to its reported health and environmental risks.
Xenoestrogens are also found in plastics. Nalgene bottles, common plastic water bottles, and Tupperware are all culprits. As a rule, the softer the plastic is the greater the potential leaching of chemicals into your food or water. Heating greatly increases your chances of seeping.
As mentioned earlier, xenoestrogens are also stored in fat tissue and can have effects for years to come. This also has implications for the foods we eat. Animals exposed to xenoestrogens through pesticide covered foods accumulate these products that we end up eating. Over time these products become increasingly concentrated in our own fat cells.
Big Deal. What can Xenoestrogens do to me?
Aside from the obvious potential fat gain associated with excess estrogen consumption, the biggest risk is Cancer. For men, prostate cancer has been strongly linked to increased estrogen exposure. In women the greatest threat is breast cancer. Of course, being fat sucks too and it is a health risk by itself.
There has also been some suggestion that there could be reproductive or sexual changes with those exposed to xenoestrogens, but as you might expect there aren’t a lot of humans lining up to gulp down some DDT. Much of the information comes from animal data or from reports of people living in areas where DDT use is still common. Children in these areas often enter puberty at only a few years old.
What can I do to reduce the risk?
- Eat organic foods. The less pesticides on your produce the better. Eat organic meats and avoid the potential storage of xenoestrogens in the animal fat.
- Choose fresh vegetables as opposed to canned. The plastic lining inside the can could leach into your food.
- Drink from glass bottles whenever possible. Since xenoestrogens have their greatest effects on the reproductive development of young children, make sure to use glass as much as you can if you’re pregnant or have kids. Personally, I just refill a glass bottle with filtered water.
- Choose glass instead of plastic to store foods.
- Don’t heat food or water in plastic.
If you do all of these things you’ll have done everything you can to help avoid the risks of environmental estrogens.
September 14th, 2006
