Client Interview: Sherry Bartmanski
For those of you who don’t know Sherry Bartmanski you might be asking why I’d want to interview one of my clients. More importantly, you might be wondering why you would want to read about her. The reason is simple. Sherry has not only lost over 120lbs since we met in 2002, but she has been an inspiration to everyone around her. She is an example of what life could be like if people would just stop settling for the hand they were dealt and decide to make a very drastic change. We could all learn a lot from her.
SHERRY BEFORE
The Interview
Me: Sherry, you’ve been at this a long time. How do you keep yourself motivated?
SB: I think the more you lose weight the more you want to. I see a whole different person and I’m eager to keep getting that person better. Before I didn’t care. When I was heavy I didn’t want to look in a mirror. I didn’t want to go clothes shopping. I didn’t want to do anything except keep out of people’s vision. Now I want to do better constantly so that keeps the drive going.
Me: What do you feel is the most challenging part of keeping the weight off?
SB: The most difficult part is probably controlling the cheat meals. When I first started I very rarely ever had a cheat meal. When I did have one I could see that it made a difference. It would kind of kick start me back into losing weight. But as I got to a point where I thought “this isn’t a bad weight” and had a cheat meal it could just go on and turn into a cheat day. Sometimes I can go out of control or I can find excuses to go out of control. Sometimes it’s a “poor me” thing or “I deserve two of those instead of just one”. I can talk myself very easily into getting stupid with them.
Me: So how do you deal with this challenge?
SB: Well, I get ticked off with myself because as soon as I get on the scale I think “Damn!” It’s the scale that pulls me back into reality because I want it to keep going down. Even though I might think I’m looking okay, because I’m so used to seeing it go down, when it doesn’t I get mad. That gets me back on track. Then I start reflecting back on the week before. If I didn’t do anything differently and it had been a good clean week, then I get even madder because I think “what’s the matter with my scale? I should’ve lost something.” I think it’s the scale that keeps me honest.
Me: So you do get on the scale even when you’ve had a bad week?
SB: Oh Yeah. I always weigh myself on Mondays unless a scale is not available. If my scale is not available I don’t weigh myself on somebody else’s scale. It could be way under and then I think “Hey, I thought things were a little bit snug, but that scale was saying I’m lighter so I can loosen up a little bit”. So if my scale isn’t available I don’t weigh, but if my scale is available I always weigh myself on Monday.
SHERRY AT 115LBS LOST…and counting.
Me: What do you say to people who think this is easy for you? For example, some people say Sherry has money or Sherry doesn’t have young kids at home, or maybe Sherry and her husband eat at different times.
SB: Then usually I know those people. I either work with them or they’re friends of ours and I think that’s the easy thing to say. They’re looking for an excuse to condone why they’re not doing it or trying to do it. And I’ve always told people I never started this with the intention of doing it for years. I started it with the intention of doing my twelve sessions. You know…give me some knowledge of what I’m doing wrong and educate me on nutrition. I just wanted to be a sponge and soak up any information I could and learn how to not look stupid in the gym. That was going to be it. I think I’ve lost the question. [Laughs]
I can justify the cost too. It’s like saving for retirement. If you’ve got a goal set in mind and you want to do something, you will find a way of doing it. If money is a factor then take a look at what you are spending your money on and what your health is worth to you. I think as you get older, you really start to take a look at your health because you see all kinds of people that are unhealthy around you and you don’t want to be like that. So you’ll find a means.
If you’ve got a spouse or kids, the changes in your eating are healthy changes so turning your kids on to those healthy changes is a good thing. If a spouse doesn’t want to do that, then he’d better learn how to cook. You have to take control.
Me: That leads nicely into my next question. How do you deal with preparing different meals for yourself and your husband?
SB: I’m not a cook so what I have is usually pretty basic. I like it very simple so I don’t have to do all sorts of spicing and stuff. I eat pretty consistent foods so if he chooses he doesn’t want to eat that he can make something else. I’m not stopping him from firing up the barbeque. Quite often he’ll barbeque stuff for me and if he doesn’t want that he’ll barbeque something for himself at the same time. You might be eating different things, but you can’t force the other person to eat the way you do. You have to work that out between yourselves.
Me: A lot of people think it is more difficult to lose weight the older you get. How do you feel about that?
SB: I think that is probably a perception thing because as you get older you tend not to be as active and you’re more set in your ways. I’ve read that it’s not necessarily that it’s harder to lose, but it’s easier to gain weight, as you get older. Everything slows down and women start loading up in the hips and thighs. So I think it’s easier to gain as you get older, but I’ve found that I lose weight just as easily as a younger person because of the training. I don’t think I would’ve have been losing the weight just dieting. Basically, you’re going to lose if you’re eating properly and you start increasing your activity.
Me: A lot of people feel that weight loss will cause them to get wrinkles. Do you feel that this is true? And if this is the case, is losing weight worth it?
SB: I guess it depends on the age of the person. As you get older you’re going to get wrinkles anyway. If you’ve been heavy, like I was really heavy, as you lose weight in your face you’ll have lost all the elasticity. I’ve found that you can go to a dermatologist and get things that help firm. You have to help your skin too because you’ve abused it all this time. If you can get moisturizers that are going to help tighten the skin up then you should try to do something about it.
But, again, if you’re going to have and extra wrinkle or two versus being unhealthy you’ve got to make that decision up front because there are a lot of decisions up front. If you want to be healthy it is going to cost you money because you’re going to have to invest in some training or education…and clothing. So I guess what it all boils down to is what your health is worth and what is important. If looking like a Barbie doll is important to you and you want to not be healthy that’s the choice you have to make.
Me: There are always people who tell you you’re getting too skinny or that what you’re eating or doing is unhealthy. How do you deal with people who criticize you for what you’ve done so far?
SB: If the person is genuinely concerned, like somebody that hasn’t seen me in a while, the comments from them will be out of concern that maybe something’s wrong. They think I’ve got some dreaded disease and I’m losing weight and I’ll be gone in six months. So if it’s a genuine concern I tell people what I’ve been doing and they’re okay with it. But for the people that I hear the other comments from, I generally take a look at where it’s coming from. The majority of it is coming from people who have a thousand excuses why it wouldn’t work for them. They’re people that want to improve themselves and just haven’t done it. Instead they criticize somebody who has because it’s easier to say, “I could never do what you did because of four hundred different reasons”, but those are the people who haven’t actually sat in front of a mirror and had a good talk with themselves yet. I consider the source and try to ignore it because if you address it with people by saying “I still have ten pounds that I’d like to get rid of” then you generally see that non-verbal eye rolling. If they’re happy with their mirror they should let me be happy with mine. They didn’t seem to have a lot to say when I was almost 300 pounds so, to me, they should shut up. I’m not 300 pounds anymore. So if they can’t encourage me I don’t want to listen to them.
Me: What is your favourite exercise?
SB: There are some I like doing because of how they make me feel, but not necessarily because I like doing them. I’m going to regret this…but I like doing squats and lunges…and the stairs, which really isn’t an exercise. And…I like doing…really…almost all of them… which is pretty sad. What I like are the exercises that after a while when you’ve done them you can start seeing the muscles. You can see the arm muscles come out and the back muscles. I like those exercises because I like the results that I see from them even though I might not necessarily like doing them.
Me: Are there any hints, tips, or tricks that you could pass on? What helps you get through the day?
SB: Sure. If you don’t buy it you won’t eat it. If you’re in control of the shopping don’t buy things that you know were your downfalls (like cookies or pizza pockets) and they’re not going to be there if you do have a moment of weakness. If you’ve got kids that have to have them, make sure that they’re somewhere where they’re not in your face all the time. You have to outthink yourself sometimes. You know if every time you open the freezer and something nasty is sitting there that you’re eventually going to grab it. If you’re feeling a little bit hungry you’ll justify it in your mind somehow. But if it’s stashed away in the freezer downstairs or out in the garage it’s not going to be as easy to get. If your family wants that stuff you tell them to go buy it and hide it away.
If you’ve got a goal in mind it also helps. Some people like to have that dress that they’ve always wanted to get into there to remind them. I kind of had a weight in mind when I first started training that I wanted to get to because that’s what I’d been in high school. When we first talked I think you had said a weight that you thought I could reach and it was higher than what I’d thought. If you believed I could reach that I knew I could get lower. Once I got to that weight I knew I could go a lot lower because I could see the results. That kept me on track. I think picking a weight that you’d like to get to is a good thing. Or pick a size. I kick myself in the butt for not keeping track of my sizes because when I look back on my weight it hasn’t really changed over the past year, but my clothing sizes have gone down a lot. So that is something I’d tell people to do. Keep track of clothing sizes or measurements as you’re doing this because sometimes if the scale doesn’t move you get frustrated. If it hadn’t moved and I knew I’d lost a dress size or two inches somewhere I could still feel good. Just get a goal in mind and try to make it as easy on yourself as possible.
Me: That’s all great advice. Anything else you’d like to add before we wrap up?
SB: Yes. The other thing that keeps me on track is the genuine feeling of concern I get from my coach/trainer. I was originally working out at Family Fitness and saw trainers there that were awful. When I finally got to a point that I was going to try having a personal trainer to see if it helped I was determined that if that person turned out to be anything like the ones I had observed the experience would be short lived. Fortunately for me the “sales” guy I had was working with you at the time to gain weight and although he said that you were only working part time and weren’t accepting new clients, he booked me in with you anyway. That was the best thing that happened to me.
Your true concern for the well-being and health improvement of people is one of your strong points. You can be as educated and knowledgeable as you like, but if the genuine concern isn’t there females especially can quickly tell the difference with someone who does things because it’s a paycheque and someone who is not strictly motivated by money.
There are many times that I would want to slip off my plan but I knew that not only would I disappoint myself when I weighed in on Monday, but I would disappoint you. There is that partnership feeling during all of the misery and success. In my case losing a lot of weight, there were no friends or family who had gone through it and understood the frustration or who truly felt happy for my accomplishments, but you did. So each time I want to cheat I have this little thing in the back of my head that says…”go ahead and have that extra dessert ……..you must not really want it bad enough.” And I stop myself. Well usually…
Me: Thank you very much for your time
SB: No Problem.
Add comment October 10th, 2006