Don’t WEIGHT To Say Something
By Stacey Nolan Young
The way the world works can seem backwards somehow to me at times. People can baffle me like nothing else can. Sometimes we speak up when we see something we perceive is wrong and at other times we remain silent when our voices should be heard loud and clear. Don’t understand what I’m talking about? Let me explain.
Over the years we have worked with many people to help them achieve their goals. We’ve had several people hit their weight loss targets. And in almost every circumstance someone close to that person came forward with their opinion, “You’re getting too skinny”, “Are you even eating anything at all?” or “Oh- I think that’s enough weight lost, you shouldn’t lose anymore.” To be honest there have been worse things said to people than I’m willing to write here. And in all of these cases the person losing the weight looked and felt healthier than ever before and none of them would be considered underweight or undernourished.
People are so willing to step forward and tell someone that they are “getting too thin” for whatever reason BUT they do not tell their loved ones when they are gaining too much weight. Why is that? Could it be because it is a societal norm to be overweight and therefore is more readily accepted? Is it that the loved one somehow feels better about themselves because their friend is overweight? Or is it feasible that they are afraid to say anything to spare their friends feelings? Let’s examine these options further.
Societal Norms
In North America obesity is a raging epidemic. It is everywhere you look. It’s affected our parents, our peers and our children. Here in Hamilton, Ontario we are officially the city with the highest rate and percentage of overweight and obese citizens in all of Canada. This is definitely not something to be proud of. It is also something that I feel is not being addressed adequately. Let’s face it. It is acceptable to be overweight and obese. If someone puts on 20lbs, rarely is it discussed as a concern by the people closest to that person. It seems as if people find nothing wrong with the situation at all. As stated above, it is the norm and it is accepted.
Insecurity
I believe that everyone has their own issues with themselves. Something that makes them feel insecure. And most people, especially women, feel the need to compare themselves against others. I’ve known people who freely admit to surrounding themselves with friends who are overweight because it makes them feel better about themselves and about the way they look. Is this wrong? Heck yes! But it is a reality. And when one of their friends decides to take their health into their own hands and make a change then all of a sudden that comfort and security is threatened. Sometimes they react with some of the opinions above. You see, when people see their friends succeed in their weight loss it can be a reality check to the person. It IS possible. There is NO excuse for it not to happen. It’s almost as if their own inadequacies are coming back to haunt them when they look at their friends success. And while they should be celebrating her success and encouraging her, instead they find themselves doing the opposite. Like I said above I have seen this many times with families and friends of clients who are doing well.
Fear
Some people are afraid to say something to their friend who has packed on some weight. I do understand that feelings can and will get hurt but this option is far better than the friend falling victim to disease from obesity. There are ways to come across as concerned and encouraging. The point is that we don’t do it enough. If we really care about people and see them going down a road that leads to death then it is our responsibility to step in and say something. No one has a problem doing so when their loved one has a drug or alcohol addiction. It is the same thing. It is a sickness and it CAN kill them.
It ultimately does not matter what the reason is behind you not standing up and saying something to your loved one. It just matters that you do say something to them. It matters that you do express your love and concern for them. Being overweight or obese is dangerous. It can lead to heart disease, stroke, Type 2 Diabetes, Hypertension and many, many other health issues. It is something we should take very seriously. And it is something that we, as a society should do something about. Start with those closest to you.
Posted: November 12th, 2008 at 11:25am By: stacey